Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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