I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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