Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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