have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
