why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
