There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize