weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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