need another drink. this is the easiest way
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
