but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
