to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
