But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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