Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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