I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
