your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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