You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
