Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
