So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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