I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
