do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
