is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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