I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Text me some of your sweat
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