Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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