If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
