HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
