we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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