I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My penis needs a shock collar
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You were trust falling into bushes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize