It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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