tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
