I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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