You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
