All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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