We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm too high and old for this...
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