he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
