Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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