The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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