I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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