living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
