You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
