he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
whose ass print is on the piano?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
