my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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