party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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