I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
