I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
