i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
