I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
