Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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