i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
