quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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