I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize