can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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