You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
