i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
