508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
