I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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