Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize