my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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