She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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