I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
