i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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