Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
