She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
