i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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