Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
