i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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