return my video game
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
