and she was petting her beer can
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
