Where is the hickey?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
