I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
this is an emotional support booty call
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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