THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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