What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
North Korea, Best Korea!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am naked and annoyed.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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