you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize